It takes two (to make it a race)

Sometimes life can be hard. There are all sorts of complicated decisions that need to be made and we’re mostly operating with imperfect and incomplete information. This is especially true in the fraught and perilous world of personal human relationships. We either don’t think at all or we overthink way too much and invariably we fuck something up. When you get down to it, relationships are a lot like bike racing:

  • Complicated
  • Unfolding quickly
  • Constantly changing
  • Incomplete information
  • Too much thinking
  • No thinking at all
  • Disastrous

If only there were some simple and clear way to understand relationships just like racing bikes!

Well lucky for you, we’ve decided to do something about it. Starting next week we’ll be running a regular “It takes two” relationship advice column, giving you the very best (or possibly worst) relationship advice possible, in language you’ll understand – race tactics! We’ll all learn together as elite US-based cyclist and coach Heather Nielson assists us in making sure you don’t end up faceplanting on the roads of love.

Drop your questions into the comments, or email us at prowomenscycling[at]gmail[dot]com and we’ll pick the best/most desperate ones to answer.

Don’t worry lonely cyclists, your love troubles will soon be over (or just beginning)!


8 thoughts on “It takes two (to make it a race)

  1. i’ve got a thing for female cyclists, especially a few on the pro circuit, but i’m currently in a relationship. do you recommend buying enough doping products to turn my girlfriend into a pro cyclist or to dump her and seriously ramp up my internet and real-life stalking of current pros? thanks in advance for your shared wisdom.

  2. When my boyfriend and I cycle together, he usually rides in front. This is mainly because he navigates with a Garmin because often we’re riding unfamiliar routes. So you know, I just follow. However, when we go places that only I know the way to, he still somehow ends up in front of me and then when we come to a fork in the road he asks, “Which way?” and it MAKES ME MAD because whyyyyy did he need to move in front of me anyway? Why couldn’t he just sit patiently behind me? Then I say, “If you would stay behind me you wouldn’t have to fucking ask but NO, you have to be SO. MACHO.” and then he looks confused because he is the exact opposite of a macho guy who just wants to ride in front of the girl, he is actually so great, it just kinda always… happens… and I don’t know how. It just really makes me mad and I think it’s a very small thing to ask. How can I keep him obediently following me when it’s MYYYY turn to lead the ride that day? And how can I not look petty when I go about it? How can we avoid faceplanting on the roads of love?

    (Please note we mostly do not, CAN NOT, ride two abreast unless it’s on a bike path or really chill suburban roads because otherwise I squeal, “STOP BOXING ME IN!” because I need to be a woman with my own free will, able to boldly take my own line and all that stuff)

  3. My partner caught me riding tandem with another woman. It was just a one-off but I seem to have lost his trust now and he won’t ride with me. How do I earn his trust back and convince him to get back in the saddle? Your advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!

  4. My good friend is always talking about how he finds it hard to meet single women, but whenever I offer suggestions of things to do, or ways he might meet more people – like joining local online communities that meet up, going out to events around his interests, where there’ll be lots of other people, etc he always has an excuse for why he can’t do that. Maybe I’m going about it in the wrong way? He is an avid cycling fan, so if you could suggest some racing metaphors, maybe I can convince him that he can be more daring, and that if he takes risks, he can reap rewards? Thanks in advance!

  5. What a great idea. I don’t know what happened in my life, whether I just got lucky in picking the right spouse or whether the fact that we both got active together is the reason behind it, but whatever the case, 21 years after marrying this handsome man of mine we are still pedaling along smooth roads together.

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